The first time I ever heard from God (that I can remember, at least) was when I was 12 years old and on my very first missions trip at the New Life Children's Home in Port Au Prince, Haiti. I felt God speak into my spirit that this was what I was going to spend my life doing, that I was called to be a missionary. That moment and the whole experience leading up to it and then there after has really laid the groundwork for my spiritual walk. It has been a constant that has always stayed in the back of my mind and something I would always come back to. I have heard a lot from Him since then but the message has continuously remained the same.
I came across a journal entry I wrote 6 years after my first experience in Haiti and this is what it read:
December 27, 2008
"I have been shown no greater (human) love than that of these children. If only the world could comprehend maybe money would start to lose some of it's importance. The joy they continually have is beyond me. One could ask how someone who has so little could be so happy. Learning from them, I've discovered that maybe they've mastered the concept of being content in ALL situations regardless of useless possessions. Let me not forget this irreplaceable feeling of complete pride and contentment which I've received from my children in Haiti as I watch them grow and mature every year. Thank you Jesus for the wonderful opportunity. You've changed my heart and mind. Use me now for what You have planned. *freeze* Let me rest in this place of peace with these children so full of love."
Just having returned from a missions trip to Jamaica last week (blog post for that to come) and then reading back over all of this has completely humbled and rejuvenated me. It is an amazing thing to hear from God then to see him not only put it into action but then to still be continuing to carry it out now so many years later (11, to be exact;) is simply an indescribable feeling. I am convinced there's not a whole lot here on earth that's better. Knowing that for my entire life He's been piecing together this perfect plan; this extravagant, on-going event and He's been paying such close attention to all the intricate details I didn't even see. And now I get to sit back and watch as it all comes together, as the curtain comes down. All this? For me? I will never understand it. My heart has and will never know of such greater love than this.
I sort of have this ongoing theme in my life lately of how God is so romantic and He has made it a point to bring to my attention things I've never really noticed before. Most of which have been centered around how much He truly loves and knows me so intimately. So much so that He speaks straight into my soul. This post is going to be comprised of the things I've felt in my spirit, that God has spoken to me through the years. In a way, they're like little love notes here and there gently reminding me of the Truth and of His promises. Letting me know that I'm special and that He cares. What girl doesn't desire and blush at the thought of the man in her life romancing her in this way? I would always try to write it down in a journal whenever I would hear a Word from the Lord. Sometimes that's how I would hear from Him. I would have no idea what to write when I put my pen in position but then as my pen started moving words would just start appearing on the paper, almost as if He was writing it for me. Gently guiding my hand.
He said to me:
October 13, 2010
"My child, I've got you. Trust me."
November 12, 2010
"I have called you to love my people."
November 23, 2010
"Young lady, I love you. Give Me your everything so that I can give you the world."
"Love My people, My command for you is to love My people."
December 10, 2010
"Child, let Me heal you."
January 9, 2011
God spoke to me. He smiled at me, gave me a thumbs up and said, "Daughter, I am proud of you. Do you know what that means?"
February 5, 2011
"I want you to hold their hands."
Reading the book, Reckless Faith and pondering what my 'duties' as a missionary would be, this was God's response to me. <3
February 28, 2012
Quiet Time with God
"Just trust Me."
"Let Me be your source of Joy."
"Don't let go of the vision I gave you long ago."
"Makenna belongs to Me, but I have entrusted her to you, to care for her. Seek My guidance in EVERYTHING."
"Stop talking bad about your friends, My children."
"Live freely, let yourself open up to the ones I've placed in your life to be there for you."
"You have no idea how much I love you."
"Let Me handle it, and watch My perfect plan unfold."
"You may not always understand, but I have your best interest at heart."
"Listen with your heart."
"Let My peace sustain you."
October 1, 2012
"Tend to My sheep."
August 2, 2013
"My Beloved Daughter, I have missed you. Open up to Me and let Me in. Open up your heart and clear it of all the clutter. Make room for me and the problem with your heart will be no more."
August 6, 2013
After watching a video study on being a Circle Maker:
What do I need to circle with prayer?
What promise to circle and claim?
What do I need to walk around and circle physically in a prayer walk?
"What is it that you want Me to do for you?"
November 21, 2013
"Don't be afraid to let Me use you."
It's amazing how God knows my deepest darkest fears and doubts and quiets them with His love and words of Truth. He wants me to know how special I am to Him, how proud He is of me, that He is and will be using me in wonderful ways despite all my flaws and insecurities. I will cherish these little love notes forever as I go back and read them and add more. May I always remain in His love and make the time to quiet myself so that I am able to hear His Spirit speaking to my soul.
