What is it with society these days? It literally shames everyone for everything. It's absolutely ridiculous and completely unfair. Yea, yea, I know.. "Life's not fair."
It seems to be especially hard on moms, though. Am I right!? No "mom group" in particular just moms, in general. All the moms. No matter what. They're all doing it all wrong, apparently.
Ugh.
Seriously, can we please, for the love of God, stop allowing this? At least by refusing to add to and/or encourage it.
No matter what "kind" of mom you are, I'm sure, like me, you've felt the weight of this pressure that somehow, no matter how hard you try you're just not doing things right. You're simply not good enough.
Well, that's a bunch of garbage. Because you are. We are. This whole mom thing is freaking hard, and endless. It doesn't come with instructions but does come with an insane amount of responsibility. It's incredibly daunting and tiresome but also so completely rewarding. So more than worth every silent, frustrated, tear shed late at night when they're all asleep in bed and you finally have a quiet moment to yourself. Probably feeling like somehow you've blown it, yet again. Praying to God that you haven't screwed them up too bad.
Yes, we moms typically are not lacking in the dramatics department. Honestly, though.. we are way, WAY too hard on ourselves.
It is absolutely impossible to live up to this whole "perfect mom" standard (as if that even exists!?) in the culture we live in. So we have got to stop beating ourselves up over it. And, dare I say, stop judging other moms for doing things a little bit (or a lot) differently than how we choose to ourselves.
I don't care what the reasoning is or how justified it seems, just stop doing it. I know it can be difficult when we're feeling like we're failing at everything. We want to look around and point to someone else. Like, "Well, at least I'm better than so & so because I don't let my kid eat/drink/say/do/act like such & such." As if somehow that's going to make us feel better about ourselves!?
No.
You are doing the best you can. And, more than likely, so is she. So please, for the sake of all moms, just stop. It really would make things so much more pleasant for all of us if we showed one another the same love, respect, and grace as we would like in return.
(Can I get an amen?)
One of the things that frustrates me most about my current life situation is this need I have to justify it to anyone and everyone. Which is so dumb. But I still feel it. Remember, we live in a society that tells us, "Hey, you. The one with the kids, doing the things.. Guess what? You suck." Basically.
For me, that struggle comes laced with this constant need to defend my roles/responsibilities as a stay at home mom. My favorite thing, "but what do you DO!?" Lol I love that question.
But honestly, this time in my life and in the lives of my precious kiddos' is literally probably THE most important. So why am I constantly feeling so beaten down by the world around me for this life choice? Believe me, it is not a choice that has been taken lightly. There are PLENTY of sacrifices that have been made to make it possible and I am just grateful more than anything for the opportunity to be able to do so. Especially because I do know a lot of working moms that would kill to have that and simply just can't. I cherish this time, I really do.
I love where I'm at. What I do is important. This time I've been blessed with to train up and teach my children is crucial. Probably one of the greatest tasks I will ever accomplish in my life.
Yet.
Somehow, I still feel like I'm expected to try and come up with some excuse for why I am where I'm at. Why I'm still "just a mom."
I know most people don't really mean anything by it when they ask. They are just curious, I guess. But when the questions start rolling in about my "career" (ha, whatever that is!?) like...
"What are you doing with your degree?"
"Don't you want more out of life?"
"When are you going back to work/school?"
"Have you thought about that yet?"
What's the time-frame?"
"Don't you have it all planned out?"
I start scrambling. Pulling for anything and everything I can to make my life sound more successful and put-together.
"Well, um. You know, right now I'm just doing the whole mom thing.. But, I volunteer at church and stuff too. Oh, and I go to the gym like 5 days a week. That counts, right!? I also write, sort of, occasionally...
I buy Girl Scout cookies, okay? I'm still contributing to society!"
(Thin mints, please;)
Literally throwing out everything I can possibly think of that might gain me some leverage in convincing them that I actually do things that matter.
Seriously, that's ridiculous.
Really.. As if what I'm doing isn't enough. That whole "mom thing" isn't really all that important. Isn't valid. Doesn't count. Like I'm just hurrying through this stage until I can get back to what matters. What my real purpose is.
For real!?!
Unfortunately, yes. This happens to me all. the. time. More than I'd like to admit.
I'm so done with doing that, though. With feeling that way. You know why? Because I am PROUD to be "just a mom." This IS my life's calling and absolutely does fulfill me and give me purpose more so than anything else I've ever experienced. I mean, of course it does I'm literally raising tiny humans who will grow up into being adults one day. I want them to be healthy, successful, productive members of society. And probably more than anything else, just all-around decent human beings. It's a really big deal, when you actually stop to think about it. (No pressure)
But I don't, nor should I, need anyone else's approval or praise to make myself feel worthy or valuable. There is an immense amount of both of those things wrapped up in motherhood. It just gets overlooked often times because it's usually covered in spit-up and showers a little less frequently than one would choose.
Yep, being a mom is not glamorous. I don't care what pinterest tries to make you believe.
In reality, it is messy, raw, heart-wrenching, infuriating, incredibly wonderful, beautiful, insanity. It's not for everyone and that's okay too. But I want you to know, regardless of how you choose to do things, whether working, staying at home, or something in between. You are a rockstar mom and I'm pretty sure your kids most definitely think so too.
So, go on with ya bad self, girl, and stop letting society shame you into thinking your less-than for any reason. I know you're trying your hardest to always do what's best for your babies no matter what, at any cost. For what it's worth, mom-to-mom, I think that's amazing and so much more than enough.
