embracing vulnerability

I spend way too much time worrying about what other people think about me, and torturing myself with the 'what-ifs'. Whether it be about their thoughts of me or if I am good enough to meet their approval; But why? Why do I care so much about what I look like? And I don't necessarily mean physically, of course that ties in as well sometimes but mostly it's about being emotionally attractive or appearing to have it all together, as if perfection is really attainable and I am saying 'Look everyone, I have done it!' Why am I so obsessed with putting on that facade, when in all reality, we are all struggling with something and in most cases, a lot of somethings. I mean we are human for goodness sake it is part of our unique make-up to be flawed and we should not feel like we need to hide from that all the time. Don't get me wrong, I am not insisting that we go around being Miss/Mr Negativity all the time spilling our guts to anyone (facebook included) who will listen to us complain about all of our trivial problems; but instead, it's about finding that healthy balance and embracing the beauty of it all. It's about realizing what we do have and being insurmountably grateful for all of those things but then at the same time not running from our faults; but rather, admitting them and then seeking comfort and support from those closest to us, those we can confide in. I mean can't we just be real with one another every now and then? We need to feel free to be able to let our guards down with one another and know that it's ok to be broken sometimes, and we shouldn't have to feel the need to fake a smile or fight back tears. It's ok if everything is not perfect. Even saying that is extremely uncomfortable for me, and I find myself reading back over those words again and again because it is an important reminder. So much of my life I have unfortunately chosen to believe the opposite, so writing this is just as painfully relevant to my own personality and life as it is to anyone else's. And that is because it is human nature to desire to look good in all aspects and never show any signs of weakness, but this whole putting on a happy face when meanwhile you're dying on the inside in no way defines strength, but on the contrary diminishes it because it wears on us, weighs us down, and steals our hope. We were never meant to carry such burdens alone, but instead we should be leaning on one another and reciprocating the love and reassurance that has been shown to us. I know this concept is so much more easier said than done but I feel like it could be so revolutionary in our world because it relates to all people and discludes no one. I probably sound like a hippie or Miss America or maybe a mixture of the two with all my babbling on about world peace and free love but I for one, would love to stop letting fear dictate my every move on a day-to-day basis like it does, more often than not, now. And believe me, ironically enough, even the thought of that scares the crap out of me because when you put yourself out there, there is always a risk of being rejected or misunderstood or plenty of other things. However, you won't ever get anywhere in life if you are always 'waiting for the next one' when it comes to opportunities to open-up and until you let go of that fear you will be missing out on countless possibilities of life-altering experiences with people who may just be feeling the same exact way you are.

1 Corinthians 10

The Message (MSG)

¹³ No test or temptation that comes your way is beyond the course of what others have had to face. All you need to remember is that God will never let you down; he’ll never let you be pushed past your limit; he’ll always be there to help you come through it.

Galatians 6:

The Message (MSG)

^1-3 Live creatively, friends. If someone falls into sin, forgivingly restore him, saving your critical comments for yourself. You might be needing forgiveness before the day’s out. Stoop down and reach out to those who are oppressed. Share their burdens, and so complete Christ’s law. If you think you are too good for that, you are badly deceived.