So the other day, I told myself (and my husband) that I was going to go running that evening. It had been a long time coming and I really needed to considering I had a 5k race to prepare for that was less than a week away. When it came down to it though, I used every excuse I could think of to try and convince myself (and my husband) that I really shouldn't go after all. "It's raining.", "My iPod isn't charged, and there's no way I can run without music." When my husband rebutted both of those excuses and asked me again why I wasn't going, I came back with "I don't know, because I don't feel like it." Probably the lamest and biggest cop-out excuse ever. So after some convincing and a pep-talk I finally went. Even though I was practically mad at my husband when I left, for pushing me so hard and not just letting it go, I felt so awesome after I ran that I came home and thanked him for it. The point, I don't feel like running, probably ever. But my body NEEDS me to and if I want to be in good shape, then it has to be done. So eventually after dragging my feet then pretty much getting shoved out the door, I suck it up and I do it, and I realize it was really for my own good.
Same goes for so many different aspects of my life. Eating healthy for example, very rarely do I ever feel like eating healthy. But my body sure appreciates the fact that I refuse the temptation to indulge my sweet-tooth and eat nothing but cake and ice cream 24/7. Then there's writing, if I just sit around waiting for the inspiration to come, so much of that precious time gets wasted. In all actuality, when I make myself just sit down and put my mind to it whatever needs to be said ends up making it's way on to the paper. Even in more important scenarios like showing love to my sweet husband, because let's be honest there are days when we drive each other crazy and being nice to one another seems way harder than it ought to be. You know when it starts to feel a little less like the Notebook and a little more like Everybody Loves Raymond. If we aren't intentional about putting the necessary effort in to rekindling that fire it will eventually sizzle out. Our marriage is much too important for us to risk letting that happen just because we get lazy sometimes. If I wait until I want to referring to any of these matters not only will it almost never happen but I will not thrive which ultimately is what we all want for ourselves, for our relationships. Right!? There is a common theme here: the best and most rewarding things in life require hard work and persistence, not just even but especially in those times when you don't really feel like it.
Similarly so, I have to be intentional when it comes to actively seeking God and His will for my life. I know I am probably all alone on this one but believe it or not, I get in those moods where I don't feel like reading my Bible. Where I'd rather be wasting time doing something, anything other than praying. If I don't make the effort my spiritual walk, my relationship with Christ will suffer. As I get further and further away from Him I will grow colder and colder. Until eventually, I find myself down in some deep, dark hole, miserable and all alone. As appealing as that sounds, I think I am just going to stick with pushing myself when I need it to get into the Word. It's about making a conscious decision no matter what you are--or aren't, feeling. It's not a coincidence that when I do, what I read speaks straight into my soul and is completely relative to whatever I am struggling with at that very moment. It's not just about 'feeling better' afterwards but it is detrimental to my spiritual well being. How many times have I used the "because I don't feel like it" excuse with God and how many precious moments with Him did I miss out on. I've come to realize that it is in those times where I feel the farthest away from Him that hearing His words speaking straight to me means so much. They reassure me of what I've known all along but sometimes and all-to-easily, I forget. He's not just 'always there', which in itself is pretty comforting, but He cares about every single little detail of my life. So much so that He sees exactly what's going on in my heart and knows what I need to hear and desires to share it with me, if I am willing to listen, that is. So maybe I need to change my lame excuse to a response that sounds a little more like "You know, I really don't feel like it but I see now that it's for my own good so I'm choosing to anyways.." and then I'll watch and see how drastically that changes things for me, in every area of my life.
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